Carl

Carl is a huge-nippled, sock-sequestering, DN-hat wearing, openly-masturbating, generous and kind, college-going irishman-jew. He masturbates all the time but gets pissed when his girlfriend hears about it. He keeps socks in his glove compartment because they are required for nipple-related heat.. He goes to Marquette University, where Jim goes as well. They actually lived together, which resulted in hilarious incidents as the Jim saw Carl chicken-choking event and the Great Jim Penis Exposure of '08. Jim and Carl continue to feud to this day.

Carl is the most gracious host ever.

Carl broke Good Ideas & Bad Ideas the day after it was created. Also, he was too lazy to get up and cycle power to the router, almost.

Carl doesn't get enough sleep because he is up all night playing WoW and masturbating.